So times are tough. You tried cutting down, your personal spending etc. Great you seemed to save a few hundred. Then you realized, you forgot to consider, old Fido, that old dog that just won’t die, or Mr Mittens, who lives on a diet of premium cat food. That’s when you realized you got nothing. Whether it’s a dog, a cat, a tortoise or even a squirrel, here are some ways that should be use when it comes to money and pets.
1. Create your very own line of pet food.
Good thing about home made cat food is we can include anything we want into it. Anything…even mice.
No doubt about it. How can you not notice, how close having a pet takes you to the poverty line. Before you got that German Shepard or Siamese Cat, you were living large in a sweet mansion and drinking XO from the hands of high class escorts. Now you live in a one bedroom dump and drink tap water from your own hands, all because of that pet and its high-priced food. And how do they repay you? By sticking their noses up at the RM 30 or more cat food you just bought them.
Don’t you hate it when cats act like total douche bags.
Well now, you can stick it to big pet food industry by making your own repulsive, meaty sludge at home. Numerous sites offer up recipes and tips for making what amounts to bile-flavoured liver and chicken for your special pet. Imagine the thrill of finely slicing spinach and carrot, parboiling some ground turkey (for a “gravy-like appeal”), vegetable baby food and assorted other fillers, mixing the sludge together with dietary supplements and then serving your pet.
They put what in cat food?!
Though we have to admit this works out well for the cat, as you’re skipping the factory ingredients that likely include powdered roadkill, fur and the occasional missing homeless dude.
2. . Make your pet’s work their keep!
Have a cat, turned that lazy kitty into the ultimate pest killing machine that would out the exterminator to shame.
Well, if he can’t catch the right mouse, maybe you could teach him how to use a computer.
Have a dog, teach him to fetch paper, guard the house, and even buy groceries. There you can save on groceries. Heck even your pet hamster, can at least learn to clean the floor by eating the scraps. That’s save you, at least a few bucks, from buying that smart broom you always wanted.
I wanted my hamster to be a florist. Instead he wanted to be a flower model.
3. Breed your pets.
For those who can’t seem to train your pet hamster to fetch the paper, or your pet goldfish, to do tricks for your dream underwater circus, well you can always breed them.
Prologue to crazy cat lady.
The really easy to breed pet’s are hamsters, rabbits and fish. So how does this make or save money? By selling the babies of course. Sell them all!
There is a lot of money in this picture.
No! Not my babies!.
Of course, you must never ever get to attach to the babies. Or else it’s out of your middle class home and into the slumps, for you with the 10 to 20 extra mouths you need to feed.
4. Use Your Pet’s Fur!
Don’t worry Mittens. We aren’t going to shave you.
You may have noticed after a particularly robust load of colourful animal hair all on your carpet. How many times have you peeled off that layer of fluffy nastiness and simply chucked it away without ever stopping to ponder just how many thousands of dollars you just tossed into the trash?
After all, why pay for things like expensive stuffed animal stuffing when you can stuff your own toy with fur, and present little Johnny with his very own 75 percent dog hair by volume Teddy Bear?
But wait, we’re not just talking about slashing the 25 percent or more of the household income most families blow on bear stuffing. Maybe you live in an old, drafty house that has been improperly sealed against the elements, causing your heating and cooling bills to skyrocket.
Ima shedding mah fur.
Mattress sagging in the middle? Cram some animal fur in there! Need chest hair to impress the neighbours? Pet fur!
Note. Not for those who are allergic to animal fur. In which case, you should never have gotten that expensive Pekinese in the first place.
5. Make Animal Fur Sweaters
Just look at those clothes shops at the supermarket, getting rich while you’re headed to the poorhouse, laughing all the way at you and your cotton briefs. Do you know where cotton comes from? Of course not, no one does, and that’s how they trick you.
But now you can fight back, against their precious textiles by simply making your own clothing out of the hair you brush out of your mangy pets each and every day.
With only minimal shame and an excessive amount of effort, you can buy a book that will show you how to spin your dog or cat’s fur into yarn which you can then knit into sweaters, purses, thongs or whatever hideous thing you choose.
Mittens here wants a fox fur coat too. What does Peta have to say about that.
No longer will you be a slave to seasonal fashion trends. Instead you’ll just be a slave to how long it takes your Shaggy Dog to grow in a full coat so you can finish off those pants you’ve been working on. And the best of all, the finished product, well, totally looks like clothing made of dog hair.
Make your neighbours jealous with your very own rhasta dog inspired sweater.
Great ways to save money for pet owners
It burnssss!!![/caption]
A random kitten in a salt shaker for your viewing pleasure.[/caption]
